


The Park

by glannisass



Category: The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: Harley and Joker are BFFs, M/M, Pining Joker, dick and jack are huge nerds, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 10:55:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10535025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glannisass/pseuds/glannisass
Summary: Jack can't stop thinking about Batman, so he heeds Harley's advice and goes for a walk in the park to clear his head. He ends up talking to an oddly familiar stranger.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The first part is Jack's (Joker) POV, then it switches to Bruce's after the ellipses. In phone conversation, the lines of people not present are italicized. Text conversations are the same, in addition to the character's first initial for distinction.

It had been too long. He needed to do something. He couldn't let Batman lose interest in him, not after all that. He was out there right now, fighting other-  

Jack was broken form his spiral of self-pity when his phone buzzed. _Harley_

H-  _im @ pams now. how r u holdin up?_

J- i think its been too long

H-  _do u want 2 talk about it?_

J- maybe

His phone rang and he answered it with a frantic rush, "Harley I think it's been too long he's fighting other people he's gonna forget about me he-" His voice broke and his eyes filled with tears.

_"Whoa slow down there puddin' its only been three days. Why do you think he's fightin' other people?"_

"It was in the news!" a few tears rolled down his cheeks, "He stopped Catwoman from robbing a jewelry store and he let her monologue! He wasn't even trapped!"

_"That lousy cheatin'- look J, I know the B-man means a whole lot to you, but you gotta remember; that dude has got some serious commitment issues. Try not to take it too personally."_

"But what if he replaces me!" Jack was almost sobbing, "What if she gets to him before I do? I can't risk-" 

_"Hun you’re not gonna lose him overnight."_

"What about-"

_"Selena's got her eyes on the new Commissioner Gordon. And anyway, Batsy's definitely gonna_ _obsess over you_ _if we can pull of this heist_ _next_ _week"_

"Do you really think so?" he hated how desperately hopeful he sounded. 

_"I know so sweetheart! He's gonna forget all about Catwoman if the plan works"_

"A plan that you won't give me any details for." The tears had slowly stopped and he felt a lot better, but he was still nervous.

_"If I gave you the details you'd go and do it without me! You know we gotta wait another week for the cops to cool down enough to do anything"_

"But-"

_"No buts mista. No evil stuff._ _Go take a walk in the park or somthin' okay?"_

"Okay, fine. Thanks Harley"

_"No prob boss"_  

With that, she hung up. Jack let out a groan. Controlling himself was never something he was good at.

In the end, Jack decided to heed Harley's advice. He got up and looked through his "civilian clothes," which were all far too dull for his tastes. Jack settled on his Batman hoodie and an old pair of jeans. Next was makeup. He had washed off his body paint and temporary hair dye a couple days ago, and, except for the teeth, Jack was nearly unrecognizable as the Joker. Jack brushed his red hair out of his freckled face and set to work. Today, he decided to focus on his eyelashes, which he usually had to skip. Once Jack deemed himself ready, he left the apartment and headed toward the nearest park.

Jack was sitting on a bench in a quiet area of the park. He kept trying to stop thinking about Batman, but nothing seemed to be working. Maybe he should have worn a different sweater. Jack tried to figure out what Harley was planning, but his thoughts quickly looped back to the sight of his hero with the other villain. What did Catwoman have that he didn’t? _Batman’s interest apparently_ his traitorous mind supplied. With a dejected sigh, he sank further into the bench to wallow.

Jack heard footsteps and looked up to see an oddly familiar looking kid approaching his bench. While trying to place where he knew the kid from, he spoke.

“Hey mister! Do you mind if I sit with you?” his happy tone surprised Jack, and he realized it had been ages since he talked to a civilian. One that wasn’t a hostage at least.

“Sure?”

“Great! This is where I usually wait for my dad to pick me up after school. What are you doing here?”

Jack was caught off guard again. He wasn’t used to chitchat. But before he could think of a reason, the kid spoke up again.

“Oh, I’m sorry mister I don’t want to bother you. I know sometimes I talk a lot and annoy people, I can sit somewhere else if you want” he was still trying to sound chipper, but he seemed sad. Jack immediately felt the urge to punch whoever had told this kid he was annoying.

“No, no its fine. I just,” he paused to collect his thoughts, “It’s just been awhile since I’ve talked to a stranger. But you’re not annoying me, I promise”

Apparently, that was the right thing to say. The kid relaxed immediately, “Oh good! Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Dick Grayson, from-” he cut himself off with a shake of his head. Jack gave him a confused look. “I’ve recently been adopted” the kid explained, “I guess I’m used to trying to convince adults I meet to adopt me. I gotta break that habit” he finished with a chuckle, but Dick looked slightly uncomfortable at his slip up. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Jack, Jack Napier” he stated, extending his hand. Dick gave him a smile and a firm handshake and suddenly it occurred to Jack that this kid probably spent years introducing himself to strangers, hoping for a new family. He felt another surge of protectiveness for the kid.

“Who’s been saying you’re annoying?” Jack asked bluntly, but then he internally cringed. _Way too invasive._

Dick didn’t seem bothered by it. “Kids at school mostly. I just moved into a new school. The teachers are nice though, and it’s a lot nicer than my old one!”

“Well you’re not annoying. Kids can be stuck up jerks, don’t let them push you around.”

“That’s what my dad says. He also says I trust strangers too much” Dick said with a chuckle.

“You do! You’re too nice for your own good!” Jack teased.

“My dad says that too! You sound just like him!”

“Well its true. You probably shouldn’t get in the habit of talking to random strangers.” He had just met this kid and they were talking like they knew each other. He imagined how horrified this kid’s dad would be if he realized his son was talking to the _Joker_ , of all people. But he wasn’t THAT evil. He wouldn’t hurt a kid. Not on purpose anyways.

“It’s okay, I know I can trust you.”

Jack was holding back giggles now. The irony of this situation was killing him. “Why is that?” he asked, smiling but genuinely curious as to what this kids rationale was.

“You’re wearing a Batman sweater! No fan of Batman would hurt me!” he said triumphantly, like he had just made a brilliant deduction.

Jack tried not to lose it. _This kid is too damn naïve!_ “Well, I’m definitely a fan of Batman” he giggled. Then, thinking of Batman, he suddenly sobered. “Actually, I’m Batman’s number one fan” he stated with a melancholy smile.

“Nuh-uh! I am!” Dick smiled and puffed up his chest.

“Oh yeah? I know where his secret hideout is” he teased, mood lightening again.

“Liar!”

The irony of the situation was not lost on Jack, and he started giggling again “I do! I’ve been there!”

“Oh yeah? Well so have I! _And_ , I know his secret identity!”

“Who’s the liar now?”

“I really do!” to his credit, the kid sounded earnest.

“Well that I don’t know,” Jack didn’t know why he was being honest when the kid was lying, but it made it more fun. “But! I’m older, so I’ve known him longer!”

“That’s not fair!”

“Yes, it is! And!” he added before Dick could interject, “I have more batman merch on!” he pointed to the logo on his chest, triumphant.

“Oh yeah?” Dick lifted his red hoodie to reveal a shirt that said “Batman’s BFF”

“Well that’s nice, but,” Jack lifted his sweater to reveal his “I ♥ Batman” shirt.

Dick smirked and rolled up his sleeves to reveal a Batman wristband “There!”

Jack thought, then pulled off his hood and pointed at the Batman studs in his ears, just remembering he had them. “I win!” he said with a broad smile. He suddenly realized how much Batman merch he must have been wearing around the house, and the absurdity made him giggle.

Dick seemed to think about it, then smiled and rolled up his pantleg to reveal Batman socks.

They both broke out into laughter.

.         .         .

Bruce was jogging through the park, towards where he usually met Dick after school. He was late. Not by much, but he really wanted to be a responsible parent. Especially after ignoring the kid for a few weeks.

Dick had also proved himself a good sidekick. He had been able to sneak around Catwoman and take the bag of stolen jewelry while Batman distracted her. Babs arrested her, and with zero violence necessary. It kind of made him feel bad for how he had treated criminals in the past.

As he neared their usual bench, he heard laughing. He recognized Dick’s, but the other rang a bell, though, he wasn’t sure where he had heard it before. He slowed down as he approached, and he saw Dick sitting next to a redheaded man he didn’t recognize.  

“The socks do not count as two!” the man stated between giggles.

“Yes, they do!” Dick obviously trusted this person, but then again, he trusted everyone.

“Then so do my earrings!”

 Bruce stopped behind the bench, looking at the man. His face was familiar but he couldn’t place it. He observed the stranger, trying to detect any malice, but he was just smiling and giggling. It was rather cute…

“Dick?” He called, stepping in front of the bench, pretending he hadn’t been watching them.

“Dad!” Dick squealed and hugged him like it had been months since they’d last seen each other. Bruce had accepted that these were just what Dick’s hugs were like.

The stranger, however, seemed to do a doubletake and gawked at him. He didn’t recognize the stranger, but he certainly recognized Bruce. _Does this man know my secret identity?_

Dick finally let go and gestured to the stranger, who had also stood, “This is Jack! He’s really nice, and he likes Batman too!”

For a terrifying second, Bruce thought that Dick told someone his secret identity. Then he chastised himself, Dick would never do that in a million years. _But then why is he looking at me like that?_ Bruce realized he had been quiet, and started “Hello Jack, I’m-”

“Bruce Wayne” Jack cut him off breathily, then clapped a hand over his mouth, mortified. “I’m so sorry that- that was rude of me. I really admire your charity work Mr. Wayne” He was trying to regain his composure, but a blush was creeping up his cheeks. Bruce had an epiphany. Jack didn’t know his identity. The man was starstruck.

“Please, call me Bruce” he said with a charming smile, extending his hand.

Jack took his hand and shook it, looking like he might faint. His face was getting redder, hiding his freckles. His ears were red too, and Bruce noticed he was wearing Batman earrings. He was adorable.

“So, Dick talked to you about Batman, huh? He’s a huge fan”

“Oh, yeah I can tell. He’s wearing as much merch as I am!” Jack chuckled awkwardly, and again Bruce wondered if he had met this man before.

“Are you new in town? I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

“I’ve been here a while, but I don’t really go out much.” Jack was calming down, which was good. Bruce sometimes forgot he was a celebrity. He hadn’t had someone react like that for a long time.

“Neither do I. If my butler didn’t arrange parties, I’d probably never interact with anyone but him and Dick here.”

 “Really? I’ve never heard of an antisocial socialite before” he teased.

“It’s not really my thing. I’m more of a ‘stay in and watch a movie’ kinda guy.” Too late, he realized that sounded a bit flirty, but apart from a slight blush Jack didn’t react. To fit in, he usually just dialed up the charm and broke the knob off, but he’s pretty sure that if he did that, Jack would pass out. A different approach then.

“Did Dick tell you he knows where the Batcave is?”

“He did, actually. Didn’t tell me where it was though, ’cause I already know where it is”

“Where is it then?”

Jack gave an indignant gasp “As if I would ever betray Batman’s trust like that! The nerve!”

Bruce chuckled at that, “I’m glad that Batman has you to protect his secrets. I’m sure he’s glad to be able to confide in you” he teased.

Jack gave a surprisingly somber smile. “I don’t know, I don’t think he pays attention to little ol’ me.”

Bruce decided that the guy was joking, because it was impossible that this guy actually knew Batman. He gave a chuckle and Jack laughed too, so he assumed he was right.

Bruce wanted to stay and talk to Jack more, but he had to get Dick home. Plus, he still owed the kid ice cream. “Well, we’ve got to head home. It was very nice to meet you. I’ll see you around, Jack.”

“Yeah! See ya!” Jack beamed, and Bruce really hoped he’d see him again.

“Bye Jack!” Dick chimed as they left. “Where are we going?” he asked, not sure why they had to leave early.

“Don’t you remember? I still owe you ice cream.”

“Woohoo! You’re the best, Dads!”

**Author's Note:**

> I always accept constructive criticism!


End file.
